Why Being Too Close to Your Clients Can Be Dangerous

After a number of years as a consultant, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the value of keeping a healthy distance from my clients. This was a bit of a surprise — I initially thought the key to being a great consultant was to immerse myself fully in each business, getting to know them inside out.

But here’s the thing:

I’m not an employee — and I don’t want to feel like one.

The closer I get to a business, the harder it becomes to maintain that separation. Suddenly, I’m getting pulled into unnecessary meetings or caught up in office politics. And if I’m expected to know a business at an employee level, I’d want the perks that come with that too.

I’m also a highly sensitive person.

This is both a strength and a challenge. I pick up on the emotional undercurrents in every room I walk into — it’s a superpower in consulting, but it comes at a cost. If I get too close to employees, I start carrying their worries home with me. Before I know it, I’m lying awake at night thinking about how Jerry feels about his 5% pay increase. This is not sustainable when you have multiple businesses with 100s of employees!

Objectivity is everything in my role.

The closer I get to the day-to-day, the harder it becomes to maintain perspective. My value comes from being able to see the bigger picture and offer clear, unbiased advice. Keeping a little distance helps me do that.

Finally, there’s capacity.

If I’m too emotionally invested in one client, it leaves me with less energy for my other clients — not to mention my own business and my family. And when (inevitably) the business hits a bump in the road, I’m more likely to feel the impact if I’ve gotten too close.

At the end of the day, I want to know my clients well — but not too well. A healthy distance isn’t cold or uncaring; it’s what allows me to do my best work and build partnerships that are sustainable for both of us.

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